XWF∞

This week on dusts of our lives.

XWF's own Steve Sayors meets with legendary wrestling manager and booker Jim Cornette.

Steve Sayors: Thanks for coming, Jim.

Jim Cornette: You're welcome. Look let's get right to it because I have a feeling I know what this is about and I'm not gonna like it.

Steve Sayors: Alright Jim, well I wanted to take this opportunity to officially introduce you to our XWF audience and talk about your recent signing on as the manager of one Kenny O-
(Jim interrupted)
Jim Cornette: STOP right there. There it is. I knew I was gonna get hot.



His face glows red as he burns a hole through Steve.

Steve Sayors: …I'm sorry?

Jim Cornette: YA SHOULD BE! You wanna know why you're seeing my name on the same sheet of paper as that circus freakshow Kenny Olivier? Do you honestly think I'd manage that fluttering abortion pill by choice?

Steve Sayors: Well..

Jim Cornette: Of course not! Except your boss is as greasy as the doorknob to the only bathroom at Chix on Dix whore house! He had me thinking I was signing up for a 90 day roast on that finger banging, fairy dust snorting Kenny Olivier! -But next thing I know! --I'm getting a text the next morning from your boss! ---I've sobered up but I'm thinkin' he sure hadn't when I read his text! ----Tellin' me I'm expected to be in town to manage TwinkleToes McFingerbang's XWF debut! FUUUUU-HUUUCK!

Steve Sayors: So y-
(interrupted)
Jim Cornette: And long story short your boss owes me a new phone. I haven't even been around here long enough to order a cup of coffee and I'm already down a phone.

Steve Sayors: I'm sorry to hear that. I um I wasn't quite prepared for um...

Jim Cornette: Well now ya know how I feel! I wasn't prepared to be stuck in a 90 day contract to MANAGE that video game playing fruit cake!

Steve Sayors: Hey now.

Jim Cornette: What!

Steve Sayors: ...So, are you going to be in Chicago for Kenny's debut or are you going to find a way to get out of this?

Jim Cornette: I'm here talking to you ain't I? What's that tell ya? Now I'm on a mission. Now I've got a goal. Your boss thinks he's smart getting me to sign something when I'm in an elevated state of mind and not payin' attention to the fine print! But guess what! Ol' Jim Cornette still has a trick or two up his sleeve for just that type of occasion! You wanna drag me and my name through the mud and pair me up with that blowup doll loving, Japanese school girl obsessed ballerina? Then I'm gonna make his life and everybody else's life around me as much of a living hell as I possibly can until the very last minute of my contract expires! Now where is that cosplaying dweeb client of mine anyway? Ain't he supposed to be here too?

Steve Sayors: I was under the impression Kenny would be with you, yes.

Jim Cornette: With me?? Well what the-? I got hoodwinked into 90 days of manager services, not babysitter duty.

Steve Sayors: While we wait for him, do you have any thoughts you'd like to share on his upcoming match? A triple threat taking on the likes of Russell The Love Muscle and Chariti.

Jim Cornette: (pained aggravation) Oh I don't believe this shit.

Steve Sayors: What's that?

Jim Cornette: Well in the brief research I did on this place I already know Chariti's a girl.

Steve Sayors: Right.

Jim Cornette: So........ my fairydust sniffing client's debut match is against an outlaw mudshow guy calling himself a love muscle... and a girl! That's NOT right, Steve! That's about as far from right as you can get without coming full circle and smacking 'right' right in its ass! When I'm watching wrestling I have it DVR'd so I can fast forward through the women's matches and now I'm supposed to give a shit about a match with one in it? And the guy I'm managing in the whole thing is the shits on top of it!

Steve Sayors: Hold on. I'm receiving word that Kenny isn't going to make it. Some sort of snow problems. Apparently he tried to call you but keeps getting your voicemail greeting that specifically is telling him to fuck off and die?

Jim Cornette: What? Oh that's right I've got Twinkletoes blocked! Haha! (sarcasm city)Whoops.

Steve Sayors: And a voicemail greeting cursing him out specifically?

Jim Cornette: Well yeah! That's BEEN there, Steve. Ain't about to change my greeting now.

Steve Sayors: So...

Jim Cornette: So what?

Steve Sayors: Are you going to unblock him?

Jim Cornette: I'll think about it.

Steve Sayors: Won't it be hard to manage him for the next three months if you don't have contact with him?

Jim Cornette: I'm asking myself if I'll even make it through the next three months without stringing myself up in the woods. Why don't you tell whoever just gave you that update about Kenny to send him a note from me that says I'm done for the day, thank you, fuck you, bye!

Steve Sayors: But Jim I...

Jim exits the room, slamming the door behind him while Steve sighs, then sends that text to the appropriate party.

Elsewhere, we see Kenny Olivier sitting at a large round table in a hotel room. The table has mounds of cocaine and fairy dust mixed together on it. Kenny's snorting that shit like it was evaporating before his very eyes! This man is on a mission to get the ish in.

His eyes. Look at those eyes. Bigger than golf balls right now, and has he even blinked once since we found him here?

Kenny: It's time!

Kenny starts to go nuts as power surges through him and he screams!

Kenny: I'm cumming!



What's this all mean for the duo of Kenny Olivier and Jim Cornette? Will these two be able to get on the same page before the big bout? With Jim planning to make Kenny's life hell, and with Kenny high on fairydust and spacecoke all the time, all signs point to yes.