XWF∞

{{Oliver Last walks on screen, casually snapping his fingers along to the beat of Buddy Holly's, musical stylings. He is also smoking a cigarette and when the song comes to an end, he does a little spin and exhales a cloud of smoke. Promptly smiling, shortly after. }}

"Well hi there... hello, this is Oliver Last, coming at you live and in stereo, appearing for your entertainment and enjoyment, here to address the opponents for my next wrestling match. Isabella Ravenwolf, Drezdin, 'Super' Scatbear and bRiaN sTorM."

{{Oliver takes a drag from his cigarette and slowly, exhales a cloud of smoke.}}

"Now... as it stands, only one of my opponents has taken the time and initiative, to address me. Surprise, surprise... it wasn't that mouth breather, Drezdin. Not that I anticipated that he would make the conscious effort. He's probably still stuck in a perpetual, endless loop of trying to put on his sweater and he's failing, tremendously. He keeps struggling though, getting more and more upset, with every passing minute. It's been about two hours now and he's super frustrated. It's a pull on sweater too, so all he needs to do is pull it on but he continues to fail to accomplish this activity. He'll get it eventually, I have faith in him, it might be nightfall before it happens but he'll get it done."

"Of course, it'll be too dark and cold for him to leave his home, by then and his actions would have been in vain but maybe he can sleep with the sweater on and then, he'll just have to worry about getting his coat onto his body, the next day. Luckily, his shoes have velcro, which means he doesn't need to fret over tying pesky, troublesome shoe laces. He will have to deal with stumbling through snow, which will definitely cause him to fall multiple times, on his way to his brain doctor appointment. You'd think the government would hook him up with a mental health aid by now... but no, it's Drezdin out there, alone and fighting the odds. It would almost be sad, if it weren't so damn funny."

"But enough about him, I'm actually going to respond to the solitary man that took the time, to reply to me... and I say - man, very loosely cause he's really more of a circus, side show, freak of nature. You see this thing and think... oh my gosh, oh the humanity. How does this creature exist???"

"This abomination."

"It's not right and downright terrifying. Makes you cry out in fear and horror and that's before you realize, he's naked and most likely eating fecal matter and drinking, bloody piss."

"He doesn't need to kill himself, disease and infection, will take him long before then."

"That's what happens when you treat your body, like a sewer system or living septic tank. It's amazing he's been alive this long. The only thing more astonishing is that he's allowed to wrestle in the federation, since you would think that would violate all kinds of crazy health codes and make him a liability for a lawsuit, run the risk of people's health and safety, just bring about all sorts of trouble. As well as lead to a potential spread of infectious disease. Has no one heard of the bubonic plague? That was caused by people refusing to adhere to hygiene and basic sanitary practices. I have a healing factor, the entire roster doesn't."

"That infectious disease pit is going to get someone violently ill and maybe even bring about death. How is the federation going to stay afloat, after all the law suits, whilst also paying the cost of doctor bills? Who's responsible for this poor decision and who else blindly and willingly went along with it? Cause it seems like someone is purposefully trying to sabotage the company. No one in their right mind, would employ 'Super' Scatbear, otherwise. Yeah, 'Super' alright. Super fucking disgusting. And he has the audacity, to question why, I find him utterly offensive?"

"Right.... cause a man that rolls around in his own filth and plays with poop, sexually... wouldn't be completely grotesque and awful seeming, to anyone else. Nah. I should welcome this mutant with open arms, give him a handshake and a hug. Yeah, hard pass on that  vomit inducing, nightmare fuel. If he doesn't like it? Tough. I don't enjoy the fact that he's obsessed with shit and turned himself into a human, toilet bowl, that's totally clogged and malfunctioning."

"Shit is leaking over the brim and you need to wade through crap water. That's 'Super' Scatbear. Yeah, real 'super' to meet ya. After this fight occurs, please never approach me again. You fucking unsavory, foul, obnoxious, walking turd on a hot summer day, downwind. You vile, sickening, vomitous, flesh sack of excrement. You want me to ask you questions and be friendly, yeah violate my warning of staying away from me, after our match, see what happens and how 'friendly' I can be, you sick fucking freak."

"I'm done talking about him."

"Lets move on to Isabella Ravenwolf"

"The night terror inducing, succubus that you need to ward off, by attaching a cross onto your junk, lest run the risk of getting raped in the night while you sleep."

"Trust me, you do not want to wake up with this wicked wench, writhing atop you. It is not worth it. For one thing, she's a demon and not like one, that is wild in the sack. Like a real bête noire. She will not leave you alone, after she sinks her claws into you either. I thought she was a Hot Topic child, trying desperately to be spooky, at first and then, I seen her picture. She's frightening. Look at her. She might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says unholy, rape monster. I'm going to have to equip myself with holy water and a crucifix, in order to properly fend her off. I didn't sign up for this shit. Fighting a supernatural rapist and a feces mutant. What the fuck is next?!?! I literally have chills."

"Oh, I know, I'm going to stop talking about this bane of existence and switch to speaking about someone awesome, my buddy... bRiaN sTorM."

"This guy is great. He's a close friend of my family and a real stand up dude."

"Yeah, that's right... I have family members, I didn't suddenly phase into existence, one day, from nothing."

"A giant, compared to me cause I'm vertically challenged, on top of being extremely, skinny."

"Seriously, I could slide, comfortably into a single leg of his pants. if I curl up, my entire body fits, inside of a standard suitcase and it can be zipped shut, afterwards. One good solid punch and there's a chance that not only will I be rendered, immediately unconscious but I will suffer from multiple broken bones as well. Not even close to joking."

"Still, with that in mind, I will not shy away from our forth coming fray and shall do my very best, to put this man down. It won't be easy or even a realistic possible aspiration but I will attempt this feat. Imagine a small stuffed animal, trying to make an impact against a freight train, with fists. That's virtually what will happen. Once again, not even attempting humor here."

"However, I respect bRiaN and therefore, I will do my very best, to give him the fight he deserves. It won't be easy and I will have to use all my skills to succeed but I will do it. I will fight with all my might and if luck prevails, fortune smiles down upon me and I keep at it, I may be able to pull this off."

"Anyways, that's about it. Mentally defunct burden on society, biped shaped bowel movement, horrifying hellion of doom and bRiaN sTorM, I will see you all, within the ring. May the best man or creature from the depths win." 

{{Camera fades to black.}}

{{There is a knock at the front door, that leads into Oliver and Ivy's apartment and Ivy answers it, almost instantly. Standing before her is the epitome of an amazingly fine, male specimen. Hair slicked back to perfection, adorned in an expensive, tailor made suit, shoes shined to the point of glass. One simply must witness him, for a mere matter of seconds, in order to realize that he is an absolute Adonis and a gift to the power of eyesight, from just being privileged enough to bask in all his glory. Very aesthetically pleasing. He is the most attractive man, in the history of men ever being in existence and is fully aware of this fact but this is not a simple social call, there is a drastic matter at hand and he's there to attend to a dire situation. So he removes his sunglasses and gets straight to the point.}}

"How bad is he?"

"Hey Donovan, come... see for yourself."

{{Nodding slightly to himself, Donovan follows as Ivy Vynes, leads him to the living room, after shutting the front door. This man is no stranger though, his name is Donovan Blackwater and he's one of Oliver Last's siblings. Same father, different mother, both were sired by an alien named Azrael Erebus and Donovan was a part of fraternal triplets, known as The Brothers Blackwater. That means they were born at the same time but don't appear identical. Oliver is also older than Donovan, although Donovan tends to act more mature in certain scenarios. Still, he cares for Oliver greatly and is often, Oliver's biggest advocate. Choosing to protect Oliver and defend him. In often the worst scenarios. Once in the living room, Donovan's sights, immediately fall to his brother, passed out in the middle of the floor. Curled into a ball and higher than a satellite in orbit.}}

"How long has he been like this?"

"Oh, it has to have been longer than a week, by far his longest drug induced, binges."

"And the purpose of wearing a chicken onesie?"

{{Oliver is wearing a onesie, that looks like a very soft, yet ridiculously cartoonish appearing chicken.}}

"He feels like it's his source of protection."

"From a wrestling, promotional video that aired years ago, on another federation? Nothing was directed at him, at all? The creator had zero affiliation with Oliver?"

"Correct."

"Yet it affected him this badly?"

"Yeah."

"Who released the video."

"Unclear. It's just a frightening bit of footage that exists, sorta like the artsy, college film student style movie, people watch in 'The Ring' and then, they die after 7 days of watching it. Only more traumatizing and you stay alive and continuously suffer. Sometimes I hear him screaming in the middle of the night. I didn't know what to do? That's why I called you."

"Yeah, you made the right decision, I'm going to take him home and get him sorted out. See if our father can help with the situation. It should be fine. No need to fret or worry."

"Oh good to hear cause he has a wrestling bout coming up."

 "When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh sweet Jesus, well then obviously, Ezra and Raphael will simply have to accompany me to the fight and keep watch over Oliver, he is clearly in no condition to wrestle or participate in a match without proper supervision. Who's in the match?"

"bRiaN sTorM."

"That's good. bRiaN is a friend of our family."

"And someone called 'Super' Scatbear."

"What? That's a name of a wrestler?!?!"

{{Pause.}}

"Well... this is a waking nightmare, waiting to happen."

{Donovan shakes his head, reaches down, plucks Oliver from the floor and tosses Oliver over his shoulder. Hitherto walking towards the exit. Oliver barely stirs and Donovan sighs.}}

"I'll be in touch and keep you posted."

 {{From there, Donovan leaves and the scene ends.}}