XWF∞

Well you know that doesn't sound half bad...  I'm actually fine with that.

Oh wait, I could just decide in advance that I'm going to beat you and then tell you what a good dog you are by coming oh, so, so, SO close this time!  Ya almost had it, buck!  Maybe next time!

Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do.  Your HOGM of the Table has spoken.  You are going to show up, get in the ring with me, do all the work to make me look like a million bucks even though I'm not even going to put up any effort worth a damn here.  Sure, your promo is much better than mine could ever be when you consider the beautiful scent you were surrounded by... but promos don't determine winners in XWF anyway.  Why would they?  Wouldn't that be weird?

So then we agree, Chris.  You just march your ass right down to my ring and you give us the match of the NIGHT!

Here, let me tell you how I want the ending to go...

"SHain still hasn't been taken off his feet and we're 45 minutes into this contest ladies and gentlemen!  Holy shit SHain just speared Chris Chaos out of his boots!  SHain throws Chris up into the air...  looking to reach about 20 feet high...  and while Chris is up there SHain leaps up into the air with the most devastating Dragon Punch Rising Uppercut of all time!  Chris is popped even higher into the air from the impact and SHain lands just in time to catch Chris with a huge triple powerbomb turned into a tombstone off the top rope straight to the outside!  SHain pins him and submits him at the same time and it's OVER!  You did really really good this week though Chris!  Ya came this close!"

HAHAHAHAHA!  Are you ok with that outcome, my little loyal bitch boy lap dog?  I'm just going to keep you on your back week after week because, eh, why not?  And you better not EVER question why the fuck you're taking losses to people that you're clearly better than, or you will be humbled.

Sound good, Chris?  Jon Taffer wants me to make sure I'm extra professional and make you feel at home here.  He wants me to go all out and show you the time of your life.  It's mostly going to be a stress test for me just to see if I can fill your head with enough horse shit and boldface lies that I keep you coming back for more.  I wonder if I can do it?  I wonder if I can FUCKING manipulate you to no end like the sad sac of shit you are?

This is it, Chris.  Your chance to hit the big time.  Just come do jobs for me and all my untalented loser druggie fat friends that suck, and then you do the work to make the match look good too.  Remember I'm not doing JACK SHIT in our match until the ending I laid out earlier for you to play out with me.  Not JACK SHIT else.  Fuck head.

And now we're coming to the end of the line as time runs out on my promo.  Wait... do I even care?  I could air my promo late, or not at all, and what's it going to change?  Nothing if Chris is right here happily OUT-RPing himself!  Yup he's out Realtime Promo'ing.  He's out there getting it done for MY side of the score table.  EL EM EFF AY OHHHHHHHHhhhhhh...

Anything else to cover here?  Oh shit time's up fuck this.