XWF∞

We are just days away from the very first mega show for the NEW XWF brand and it should be one that everyone will be talking about as REVELATIONS comes your way this Sunday night live from Dallas, Texas. BIG D! No, not Peter Gilmour's Super D, but Dallas, Texas. Home of them cowboys and those ever sexy Cowboy Cheerleaders that so want to see Peter and his massive super dick. Maybe some of them will take a ride on it and cum all over the place or some will suck on it and get a giant load of his super sperm. But we digress. 

At Revelations, there will be a unique tag team match pitting 4 of the stars of the new XWF. We will see Isabella Ravenwolf who was seen last time on Frenzy putting Peter Gilmour in some sort of binding spell as Morbid Angel tried to T-bag him with his nasty looking ball sack, the Prodigy, whomever he is, Kenny Olivier, the OMEGA.. and the man himself, the GOD of Xtreme Peter "Oh Lord please suck his mighty dick" Gilmour. 

The rules of this match were kind of unique. The partners would be chose at random and whomever spoke first about the match would pick their partner of their choosing. It took a few days but Kenny Olivier was first to speak on the match and to everyone's shock, he picked the Xtreme Icon himself, Peter Gilmour. This could pose well for both men as both are champions in their own right. Kenny is the AEW World Champion and Peter.. well we all know of Peter's accolades. This team should gel nicely as they will now take on Isabella and the Prodigy in tag team action. Can Peter and Kenny co-exist and beat the unlikely duo of Isabella and the Prodigy? Or will the young bucks ( no pun intended) beat Peter and Kenny and claim victory for themselves? We shall all see this Sunday night LIVE from Dallas, Texas at REVELATIONS!

The scene now shifts once again to the lovely mansion of Peter F'n Gilmour. It is a sunny day, about 70 degrees or so as the camera focuses on the mansion and shows Peter's lavish and expensive collection of cars lined up outside the garage and front yard. We see a Cadillac Seville, a red Porsche, a Thunderbird and what almost looks like the car from Knight Rider. Actually it's the exact model, just without the beaming lights that you would see with KITT. All of the cars are being washed and waxed by the Mexican attendants. Peter could've hired others but they were all Russian and Peter HATES russians. Oh it's true. He even went so low as to take a piss at the Kremlin and mock Mikail Gorbachev. What a legend he is. But we digress. 

Anyways, the Mexican attendants continue to wax and wash Peter's lavish collection of cars making sure not to miss a spot or else they will be fired on the spot. We now go inside the mansion and the epic headbanging sounds of GOD IS DEAD by the legendary Hall of Fame band BLACK SABBATH is blasting over the stereo in the living room. There is nobody else in the house besides a few maids cleaning the stairs and the bedroom. I wonder if they enjoy the music. But remember, the maids are French. (get it FRENCH MAIDS.. ooo lah laaaa) Anyways, the music is blasting as we see the man himself, Peter Gilmour laying down on the couch wearing a black Ozzy Osbourne shirt with his face in blood and "GOT BLOOD" on it. Peter also has blue jeans on as his long, brown hair flows down the sides of his face and his beard is trimmed perfectly. 

Peter is seen playing with his expensive iPhone 12. Probably talking to the bevy of female fans that slide into his DM's on Twitter. Or he's looking at hot asian porn. We will never know. But we go inside the living romm and see Peter laying down on the couch with his legs stretched out and a pillow covering his neck. The camera then pans over to see what Peter is looking at and we can see that he has gone onto the new XWF site (the best site in the world by the way.. FUCK XWF99.com! But we digress.) 

Peter is on the new site and takes a look at what is going on as far as the PPV is concerned. He looks on the forum and doesn't see much. He shakes his head in displeasure and then lets out a giant sigh. Peter then scrolls down the page and sees an interesting post from Kenny Olivier who is one of the participants in this 4 man match where the partners will be chosen by whomever posts a promo first. Peter sees Kenny has posted first. A sick, evil grin forms on his face  as he clicks on Kenny's promo. He reads it intently then he chuckles a bit. Peter then puts his phone down, looks at the camera, once again flashes his sick, evil, twisted grin then begins to talk. 

Peter: Well now this is very, VERY interesting. So I'm in a match where the partners will be chosen by whomever decides to cut a promo first. Sounds kind of dumb if you ask me. I mean really looking at who's in the match, does it really fuckin' matter who's partner I am? Everybody knows I don't play well with others and I will only team up with people who are WORTHY. If you are not Unknown Soldier, Chris Chaos, Dim, Michael McBride, Sebastian Duke or even the legend himself Shane Carver, then don't talk to me. You can SUCK MY DICK! I only team with high profile talent and each of those men I have teamed with and won titles with. Well, except for Shane but there's time for that soon enough. Each man has been tag champion with me on different occasions. That is why I am a 7 time Tag Team Champion. 6 times in that other shit fed called the XWF. By the way, everyone in that fed can suck my dick. You wanna talk shit behind the scenes, because I see everything, you wanna talk shit why don't you bring your sorry asses over to the real XWF and I can give you a Gilmour Cutter through a flaming glass table? NUT UP OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sorry about that. Anyways, so when I saw this match, I didn't care who I would be partnered with. I mean look at who's in the match. The Prodigy. Nice name. You rip off the band? Oh right, now I know who you are, that John Cena wannabe. How's retirement treating you old man? Dude, imagine if we were teamed up. You really think you're going to ride my coat tails and think I'm going to help you? Bitch you stupid! I wouldn't team with you even if you were the OLD John Cena circa 2002. What a joke he was and still is to this day. Too bad he's doing shit movies. We all know Fast 9 and 10 will suck. Oh it's true! Anyways, I'm thankful that bitch didn't pick me because I would've just let him get his ass kicked and left. 

Then you got Isabella Ravenwolf. Well hello darling. I'm kind of glad you are in this match because what you and that old washed up hack Morbid Angel tried to do to me was heinous. You had to try to use a binding spell on me so I couldn't move and then let Morbid put his smelly, unwashed balls near my mouth. Least he didn't try to cut my super dick off.. Not that it would've mattered, My dick would regenerate like Buu from Dragonball Z/GT/Super/Heroes. But I digress. 

Your spell didn't work thanks to my very own witch, Valerie Sky. You see Isabella, you aren't the only one who has mastered the Dark Arts. Valerie has been reading all about the kind of magic you do and whatever you try to do, she has a counter spell for it and has some spells you even can't get out of. So try your best spells to try and stop me. It won't stop me from caving your face in and sending you back to your boyfriend Morbid a bloody mess. Oh and Morbid.. if you think what you tried to do to me got me mad? Oh boy am I pissed off now. Next time I see your ugly ass, I'm going to beat you to a bloody pulp, give you a Gilmour Cutter and then proceed to chop off your balls and then steal the severed dick you chopped off from my body and have it attached to my super dick to make the world's largest dick. It would be 20 inches long and no girl could resist or even take it all inside their vaginas. They will all be lining up for the 20 inch python of love. Just you wait and see pal. But I digress. So Isabella, get ready to get your bitch ass beat to a pulp from a GOD.

And now we come to Kenny Olivier, the OMEGA. The AEW World Champion. Kenny, I have to say, you surprised me. You could've picked those other two losers but you made the right choice in picking me. We got this match in the bag baby. I admire you Kenny, really I do. You are the star of AEW and got a nice looking belt to boot. You're really a star and a guy I'd love to call my partner. I too am a champion. Shall I show you my collection? 

Peter gets up and goes over to his trophy case. We see all the titles he's won during his long career. Mostly from Japan and the XWF. He looks at them and smiles wickedly. He then takes out a title that wasn't in one of the glass cases. He has it in a black bag like you would see when they introduce a new title or an old title. Peter holds it up, then unzips it. He slowly pulls it out and it's..it's.. HOLY SHIT! IT'S THE XWF UNIVERSAL TITLE! Peter holds it up to the camera as the diamonds in it shine bright. Peter then kisses it and slings it over his right shoulder. 

Peter: You see this? YOU SEE THIS? This is greatness. This is what I've worked my whole career for and when I won it from that bitch Scully, I shocked the world. Nobody would've ever thought Peter F'n Gilmour would be a World Champion in the XWF. They all thought I was a jobber.. a shmuck.. a nobody.. Well I proved those bitches wrong and still do to this very day. I didn't hold this belt for long thanks to Chris Chaos cheating his way to win that Elimination Chamber match. But I still cherish it as one of my proudest achievements in my long career. I know that I will be World Champion once again and I will show those pricks in that shit ass version of the XWF why firing me was a HUGE mistake. But I'll deal with those jackoffs at another time. 

So Kenny, me and you team up to face Isabella and the Prodigy. Like I said, we got this in the bag so just as long as you don't get in my way, I won't step on your toes ok? Let's show those jackoffs why we are the best in the business and why we are champions. I'll see you out there champ. The GOD and the OMEGA unite for the first time ever. I can't wait. 

So to all of you great fans out there, please come see the show. Make this show the best show ever in the NEW XWF. We need your support. I need all my great fans support as well. All my Gilmourholics! I need to chant SUCK MY DICK as loud as you can. Show some love to Valerie Sky as well. Just don't touch her or I'll break your arms off. But come out to support the REAL XWF and show the fake ass XWF why the ain't got a chance in hell of beating us. 

Isabella.. Prodigy.. your sorry asses are going to be taken.. TO THE XTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME! See you on Sunday you fuckin' cunts!

Peter begins to laugh wickedly as he puts the XWF Universal Title right in front of the camera and then leaves the scene. We then fade out with a shot of the living room and the headbanging sounds of GOD IS DEAD still playing in the background. We now begin to FADE TO BLACK!

END