XWF∞

Maddy: "SWING THAT SHIT LIKE A MAN!"

Duke takes several wild swings with a ball peen hammer to my penis which was still under the effects of whatever magical, horse cock medicine that this prick Morbid Angel injected in my fucking penis. Jesus Christ I should sue people but instead I'll just fuckin' talk instead.

I was still as hard as a boulder from last Friday Frenzy Fuck, and no matter how many times Duke chiseled away, the damn thing wouldn't go soft! 

We've tried everything-- almost everything. 

I had Thaddeus Duke sleep with the all-male construction crew over at Sebastian's compound so that we could borrow a jackhammer for my Maddy project.

That little little bitch was supposed to be here an hour ago with my tools and sour shitass berry bull ass vodka. He must be busy collecting semen from his cousins to roll around in. Fuck you Thaddeus, you're just as big of a disappointment and a hindrance to the team of your pedophile father Sebastian in the shit hole 99.

Seriously, your stories suck huge faggot cock, Sa and Ma got you, don't they? 

Sebastian: "I'm tryin' my hardest dude! We've been at this for a week now! I can barely lift my arm!"

Maddy: "Listen to me Duke! Swing it like you're a fucking elephant! Like you're lifting that trunk of yours and... and"

Sebastian: "FUCK MY NEICE WITH IT!"

Maddy: "Wait, what? No! Listen to me Duke, this thing is a ticking bomb! Here, there's no time to waste. I can feel it's about to detonate, we don't have time for the jackhammer that your faggot child didn't deliver on time! Here take these wire cutters, Duke."

Sebastian: "Wire cutters?!"

Maddy: "I need you to locate the correct vein in my cock and snip it before this thing goes kaboom!"

I can see the look of fear in Duke's eyes, he might not be brave enough for the mission.

Sebastian: "I mean why don't we just wait for Thaddeus? He's been bathing my niece for an hour now, let me give him a call..."

I retrieve the crusty iPhone from Duke and I smash it to pieces with my dick which is hard like... like a cannon. I FEEL LIKE I CAN MOW DOWN AN ENTIRE ARMY WITH THIS THING!

Maddy: "There's not enough time, Duke! Take these wire cutters and diffuse me!"

Sebastian: "... SHIT! Ok Maddy, lay back brother!"

Duke lays me out on the bar, puts on his glasses, and focuses a lamp down at my wiener 

Sebastian: "Hold still Maddy."

Maddy: "Hurry up, it feels like it's gonna blow!" 

Duke's mind bounces back and forth between 2 cock veins staring him down. He's trying to think back to his XWF99 training camp sessions where he dissected headtrainer Vinnie Lane's tiny wiener. He was so meticulous with his methods because he didn't want his mentor to go home empty handed. Succumbed by the pressure, a bead of sweat rolls off of his forehead and sears at the moment it hits Maddy's tip as though Maddy had a volcano for a dick.

Maddy: "Damn it Duke, make a decision!"

Duke faints! Fuck! I can feel the timer! 3... 2... 1! IT'S TOO LATE! My girth is expanding at an alarming rate from the base to the top of the tower. My eyes bulge out of my head as my urethra expands like it wants to touch all 6 sides of the room... IT'S GONNA FUCKING BLOW! 

Maddy: "OHHHHH JESUS FUCK!"

--Snap--

I finally wake up in bed and nearly dislocate my shoulders sitting up after not realizing I was still handcuffed to the headboard.

Maddy: "OWWW! What the fuck!?"

Oh thank fucking God that was just a dream. Fuck my shoulders though. Holy shit! I look down at my dick just to make sure everything is in order because you never know with these things. I honestly can't remember why I'm handcuffed but this headboard is reinforced steel so I am fucked again. 

Maddy: "GUADALUPE!" 

Guadalupe is my 80 year old hispanic neighbor 20 feet away. She always bails me out of these situations and makes some killer tomales. She'd fit into all three categories of fuck/marry/kill but I'm not worthy. 

Maddy: "You there, girl?"`

I hear Guadalupe jiggling the key that I had made especially for her. She walks inside and heads straight for the bedroom in her turquoise muumuu with tulip patterns. Damn she smells like that good mexican food too. 

Guadalupe: "Mijo, are you ok?"

Maddy: "Yeah Guadalupe, just a rough night. Why don't you uncuff me? I just got over that bullshit super boner needle that Morbid Angel raped me with and I think this setup might have something to do with my recovery. I feel so much relief! What did you guys do with me?"

Guadalupe: "Oh... uh I don't know mijo, ay-ay-ay, don't worry about it..."

Maddy: "Like, I was handcuffed this way the entire time right?"

Guadalupe: "ay-ay..."

Maddy: "And just you and your hot ass sisters helped themselves to me?"

Guadalupe ignores my question or has hearing loss as she finishes up removing my handcuffs, and now I can sit up and tug my eeyore plushie. 

Guadalupe: "You are free now, mijo."

Maddy: "Thank you, Guadalupe."

Guadalupe: "No thank you, mijo."

I sit up and begin to engage that hot mama, she can't just leave me without some more abuela wisdom.

Maddy: "Hey Guadalupe,"

Guadalupe: "Yes, mijo?"

Maddy: "Babe, just call me Maddy.... umm, would you like to watch "

Maddy brushes his hand across Guadalupe's wrinkled ass face.

Maddy: "Guadalupe, I have a match to attend to."

Guadalupe: "ay mijo."

Maddy: "But I will come back home to you once I dispose of this Gabriel Pizza Reno's. The same way I did Morbid Angel and Oliver Third! I'll hit that man up for more penis crack and keep you satisfied so that I can continue to live here."

Guadalupe: "Ay baby."

Maddy: "I... I don't want know I'm doing, WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!"

There's a prick talking to someone named "Madison." 

That could be Maddy.

Ah is that me?

Maybe Reno can convince me, or maybe I'm walking you. 

:

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Tell us who "Madison" is Reno's?